Entrepreneur and Alone

Recently, I was having a free-reeling conversation over coffee with a friend of mine. He is a fellow entrepreneur and a very successful one. A few minutes later, we began discussing our personal lives, or the lack thereof. He shared an issue that many, who are on their start-up journey, would relate to.

Let’s admit it, entrepreneurship is a lonely business. Unless you have an existing co-founder or a partner, chances are you will be spending most of your time alone. Contrary to popular perception, as glamorous or enticing the journey of an entrepreneur sounds, this is the less openly discussed reality of the journey.

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While it is rather commonplace to start out in a team, there are many who venture out on their own, for various reasons. Having a team is no deciding criterion for success or failure, but a team plays a crucial part in providing a sense of stability and companionship, especially during the rough early days. Unless a person is inside the startup, s/he can never truly understand the pressures or challenges that the person at helm faces. Family and friends do pitch in, but they can only do so much. The worries or stress arising out of the work, which is ever morphing, is difficult to explain and hence the feeling of loneliness lingers on. Moreover, it is a bad idea to fraternize, beyond a point, with the people who work for you. Not only it is improper, it can even be disastrous. It can create various problems, ranging from dilution of chain of command, complicated work dynamics to the extremes of sexual harassment cases if the employees feel uncomfortable. Now, you would not want to explain to the investors why a large chunk of their money went into settling a lawsuit.

Outside the startup, at least in the initial days, there is little to no social interaction. Most engagements are purely business transaction. Of course, you will get to meet a lot of new people, some of them terrific even; some provide excellent lessons, but hardly any who you can hang out with. In structured organizations, you find lot of equals/peers, working in similar scale, grade, role or profile. In a startup, you find vendors, clients, service providers, buyers and sellers; but no peers. There is a purpose to with which you meet a person and even if you decide to meet for a coffee or drinks, there is some agenda and that is that. Odd and long working hours make it difficult to catch up with friends and family who observe fixed work weeks. I hardly know of any entrepreneur who follows fixed working hours. Nonetheless, it is essential to carve out time for non-work related events, with people who matter on a personal level.

Image Source: http://paparelli.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/stand-alone-570.jpg

Summits, conclaves and other such events are places where you will see flocks of entrepreneurs because networking is critical for startups. It opens avenues for new partnerships, and is a goldmine for knowledge and ideas. While it gives some sense of satisfaction to talk to fellow crusaders and swap stories, experiences etc., all one ends up doing is making a lot of valuable acquaintances. Without doubt these are important connections for furthering the venture. It is, however, doubtable if you can call anyone of them in the middle of the night when having a low moment.

In more informal social settings, some entrepreneurs perform even worse. Passion for their venture actually acts against them. At parties and functions, while most people are looking for small talk or light conversation, you might find an entrepreneur sticking out like a sore thumb, explaining the beauty of her/his idea or detailing the startup’s vision, the intricacies of its operation or the devilishly clever marketing strategy they implemented. While I’m always up for listening about new ventures and strategies, shoptalk can be a real downer if you are trying to establish yourself as a fun person. I won’t call such talks as unwinding for a common person. Once in a while, you need to put some space between your life and your venture.

An amusing attribute that entrepreneurs learn to live with, is being broke, perpetually. Money is a critical component for any venture, especially if you are bootstrapping, and invariably, always in short supply. Expenditures and overheads are huge, while inflows are limited. More rapidly a venture moves, more cash it burns. Entrepreneurs raise every penny they can, from wherever they can. In such a scenario, personal expenditure takes the first hit. One less movie makes sense. One less night out finances one week of Facebook ads. While such calculations are good for the venture, they aren’t so great for the personal life. A little recreation can help recharge your batteries and lets you connect with people.

Entrepreneurship has a notorious side to it as well. Don’t let your personal life be robbed by your own passion. Reach out to people who you feel comfortable with. Make meaningful connections when you can. Sanity is more lasting than success.

Image Source: http://www.chosenchildtx.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/connected.jpg

Don't be an entrepreneur, aloof and alone, stay connected and happy.

Thanks to Meenakshi Aggarwal for edits and inputs.

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Alone

I captioned it 'Alone'.

Contrary to popular belief, being alone doesn't essentially means absence of physical company.

Over the years, I have been in relationships, been out of it, lived among friends, lived in seclusion, had a very social life and been a recluse too. With all the experience that I gathered from all the interactions, I have come to interpret the term alone in a much broader sense.

Being alone is not just an absence of physical company, it is a much more complex mental state. Many of us would have felt alone in a room full of people. I, for one, have.

Sometimes, being trapped in situations and relations also make us feel alone. This loneliness, the one that exists even with people around, is particularly more taxing and daunting than being alone in the traditional sense of the word.

I have experienced another form of loneliness. I really can't put my finger on it, but I believe it is intellectual loneliness, the feeling of being unable to find people who match our wavelength, 'Our kind of People'. I so want to surround myself with people who just get what I'm saying. The Magic that happens when we don't need to complete our sentences. The message gets conveyed before the words are spoken. Of all the times I have felt alone, this one has been the worst kind.

Feel free to pen your thoughts on the topic.